How physical and emotional bankruptcy changed my vision of life

I have to be truly honest with you guys, the start of 2020 was terrible. Many people I know and love was rushed to the hospital; one of them was my mom. Work was stressing me out and I failed my first attempt of my driver’s exam. I was so physically and emotionally devastated, as well as completely physically and emotionally bankrupt. I know what I wanted to do and I know what need to do to achieve them, but with all the shit that is going on, it’s just makes my life so much harder.

One day I talked to my parents about how tired I was with work and my side hustle. I said to them, “I haven’t slept well in weeks because of work and my drivers test. I’m so hungry to grow and learn as much as I can. But I feel so unhappy. After this I want to take a few steps back or take a short break because I’m very close to burning out”. For the first time in a long time, they actually understand what I was going through. How driven and relentless I was to change for the better. They said to me, “I never really liked when you want to go into culinary. But how much you showed us you really want this to be your passion, our bets are always on you”.

That’s when I realize that my job and my drivers test isn’t what I was chasing after. It was a feeling. Something that will help me to help people and to share my knowledge of what I’ve learned. It was a process of something new. Getting a driver’s license wasn’t the goal. It’s having a driver’s license to find better opportunities to help me and the community grow. A job isn’t just making money to pay off those bills, it’s about learning and perfecting your skills for your future. And the money that’s earned. That is used for investing. Using your money you earn to help you earn even more money.

I remember last year I promised myself to have a balance between my personal life, professional life and spiritual life. Now this year, I want to keep that promise but by also getting my shit together at the same time. I’m desperate to change myself for the greater good, so that I can learn new things, teach people and nourish similar talent that I have, and to live a happier life. Now the worst part of the year is almost done, it’s only going uphill from here.

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