I think there are many myths out there about what this industry is and what it’s like. And I don’t want to glorify a chef’s life by any means. Because hard is hard. Whether you’re a doctor, lawyer, chef, or entrepreneur, difficult is difficult. Being a chef isn’t exceptionally difficult, but it is a difficult job. And most of the time, the price to pay for this is immense.

People want to jump into this industry because they like the creative process. Every day in culinary school or in your apprenticeship, you’re always excited because you’re always learning and thinking of ways to come up with the most beautiful dish. You’re surrounded by people who have the same interests as you. You’re learning something new every day and your learning curve has skyrocketed. You join in this little, culinary bubble. It’s all rainbows and unicorns. But when you get to the real world, or over time, you start to realize the flaws and horrifying truths in the industry. You get frustrated with your boss when you ask them if you can change stations because you think you know it all. But then they said no. Why? Because you’re not even good at your station yet. Mastery comes when you make the same thing hundreds of times. Thousands of times. To the point that you’re not even thinking while doing it. That can take months, even years. This can make anyone’s learning curve slowed down significantly or even stopped. The funny part is that this is just scratching the surface. Let’s go deeper.

The most obvious ones are long hours and low wages. There’s an exception to the rule. Maybe you’re working at a place that’s only 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and they pay you exceptionally well. If you have that luxury, count yourself as lucky. But 8 hours on your feet is a long time. Walking, running, bending twisting, lifting, putting away orders, working in walk-in fridge or freezers, hot kitchen, mentally and physically demanding, chaotic. 8 hours typing on a keyboard is much different than working 8 hours on a sautéed station. OH! And let’s not forget about your feet. Because they will hurt. FOREVER. So make sure you invest in good shoes so it won’t hurt as bad in the long run.

When you’re a green cook, you’re working with people that are years of experience ahead of you. And they expect you to keep up with them. How? Fuck do I know? It’s impossible. You start to get insecure, feeling the pressure of other people. It creates a little like a pressure cooker environment because the people you work with want you to be faster and more efficient. Now don’t get me wrong, most likely, they know that you’re green and new and they should be patient with you. But there’s a line that needs to be drawn of “Don’t worry Gary, take your time dicing those red onions,” to “Dude, please pick up your slack. We’re open in 15 minutes and there’s 5 other things that needs to be done. This causes them to be a little more Kurt. You think that they’re mean, but in reality, they just want to get their list done. We all started as nice people. But over time, it creates something that you have no idea what’s in you.

Everyone always says that the higher up you go, the easier the job will be. That I can say with 100% confidence it is a lie. Because now what used to be “your station, your problem”, is now “their station, your problem.” Why? Because that’s your kitchen. Your establishment. You know better than that. Then why are you letting them get away with that? There’s the constant pressure of the upper management and the cooks. Upper management wants to do more with the resources we have, but the cooks think it’s a bad idea because they think it’s too much for them. So you have to find a middle ground where everyone is happy. There’s the constant problems with suppliers. Some stuff got shorted, some stuff comes in bad quality, some got delisted, and even some things got so expensive. There’s the constant problems with cooks. “Hey, chef can I have this day off? Hey chef, I would like a promotion. Hey chef, someone is being mean in the kitchen. Hey chef can I talk to you?” It’s never the good things that they want to talk about. There are the most absurd complaints from the weirdest people. Something in the kitchen breaks down and you have to get it fixed or else your team can’t cook. You have the financial pressure. Is your food cost in line? Is your labor budget sustainable? Are revenue where we want to be? OH! And going back to long hours. They become longer. There will be times where maybe you are unable to finish your admin work on time so you have to get it done at home so you don’t fall behind the next day. I know I’m doing that right now. And then when you come in the next day, your cooks are frustrated at you because you can’t keep up with the orders. You want to explain to them what’s going on, but there’s no time. We have a job to do. Sometimes you have to work more because someone called in sick (“sick”). You have to work 2 or more stations and most likely, no one will reward you for that.

As a chef, you face challenges at home and even in your personal life. Not spending enough time with them. Your work schedule might not be consistent. You miss out on dates, and special events. You miss a lot of that. Because you think that they need me in the kitchen. You’re so close, you don’t know what’s important. It’s hard to maintain relationships, especially if they’re not in the industry. Eventually, all your chef friends will become your only social circle. Your non-chef friends will move on and they’ll be on a beach in Cuba while you’re cooking with your buddies on the line. 

I want to share with you guys a short story. 3 years ago, I suffered the same problems as any other cook. My friend, that I’ve known her for 20 years was getting married. She asked me to go to her wedding. Back then, I had a horrible kitchen crew. I declined that offer because I thought that my work needed me more than her. On that day of her wedding, I was at work, being extremely bitter to my cooks and myself. Because I wanted to go to that wedding so bad. But I was so stuck in this pressure cooker type of kitchen, I couldn’t get out.

And last but not least, mental health. Where do I begin? This industry pushes you to find a way to cope with your stress. And those vices are extremely tempting. It can be food, drinks, or if we want to go deeper, alcohol, drugs, other substances, and activities that we know (but I shouldn’t name them because it might get blurred out). And then there are assholes everywhere. Whether it’s a boss, co-worker, cook, or chef we have to deal with a large percentage of them because we work in large teams. It’s common sense. If you’re working with just one other person, the odds are 50/50. But if you work in a team of 10, 20, 50, or 100, it only takes one person to ruin the operation. At home, maybe you’re like those war veterans who can hear the gunfires in their sleep. The only difference is that for you, it’s not the gunfire or explosions. It’s the sound of the ticket machine going off. Or the rationale oven going off. Or the roaring sound of the hood fans. Or even all of the above. It’s extremely hard to turn it off. And maybe in extreme cases, you face suicidal thoughts or temptations. Because we may think that sometimes the only way to end it, is to finish ourselves. I have lost a few cooks and chefs and to this day, I still miss them every single day.

I wish I have an answer to this contagious problem, but I don’t. And there’s no way to prevent any of this from happening. It’s impossible. What we can do is to arm ourselves with the knowledge on how to deal with these issues. So what have I been doing? Well, to start, I’m only a one of one. Meaning, that what I’m doing, may not work with other people. So take this with a grain of salt. 

On the days I work, when I come home, I just relax and talk with my parents. They worked in the same industry as me so whenever I needed help, they got my back. Other than that, unwind, and play some video games that help me get my mind off work. I’m trying to get back onto watching shows on YouTube or Netflix. If I’m really stressed, I just write, listen to podcasts and just talk to my friends. I have a rule in my kitchen is to call me when you and your team can’t find a solution to a detrimental problem. Meaning, any customer complains, minor setbacks, or cooking advice will be ignored by me on my days off. On my days off, I go to the gym (I usually go to the gym 2-4 times a week between my days off and my work days). As the old expression goes, “The last thing that wears off when you’re working as a chef is your palette. The first thing is your back and knees.” I also have other hobbies like this website (duh), video games, and arcade. There are other cases where I just want to have some quiet time. I pray, and meditate, and I’m trying to take up hiking (maybe when winter is gone, I will). And lastly, whenever my social battery is there, I go out with some friends. Maybe to a local arcade, bar, restaurant, or even just someone’s place to play board games. We’re all social animals and just like the old days, loneliness kills.

At the end of the day, I didn’t want to write this because I wanted everyone to get down being a chef, cook, or wanting to get into this industry. But I want to paint a picture of what sometimes happens that a lot of people don’t tell you when you first start off. Or maybe you know someone who wants to pursue this type of work and want to support them. Before jumping in heads first in the food industry, be certain that this is what you want to do and know the sacrifices that need to be made in order to be successful. On the positive side, this is an extremely rewarding job. You get to eat great food, you make some of the best friends, and most importantly, it pushes you to be the best of yourself. Chefs are built different. We have great senses of humor, are super outgoing, and can be the most loquacious people. We’re the people you want in the foxhole with you. The creative process and the collaboration is unlike any other industry and if you’re an adrenaline junkie, a busy restaurant and a motivated team are worth their weight in gold. There are people from all over the world, with all sorts of personalities. You can have someone who is extremely wealthy working on the line next to an immigrant and they become best friends. Or maybe you have someone who is just straight out of prison cooking with an 18-year-old just out of culinary school and they have each other backs. Food is everyone’s common ground and everyone is welcome.

Looking back through all my years cooking, grinding, studying, working, achieving those awards and important services. What I wouldn’t do to have that one Christmas at home with my family? Or weddings, anniversaries, dates, parties. I would trade any of that to have that moment back. There isn’t an award or service that is more important than something really important in my outside life. You don’t get that time back. I’ve made that mistake may times I always hate myself for doing it. I just pray that someone I know doesn’t make the same mistakes I made.